The Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders (Princess Louise's)

'Sans Peur'       Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders red and white dicing       'Ne Obliviscaris'


ARMY ABSURDITIES

Contributed by 19039392 Cpl. G. CARRUTHERS,
1st Battalion
(On reading a suggestion that Trade Unionism be extended to the Army.)

The C.O. and the Adjutant were standing on the square.
The Quartermaster with them, the R.S.M. was there.
Undoubtedly a conference of urgency and weight
Discussing, for a certainty, some great affair of State.

The Adjutant was talking fast, the C.O. tapped his shoe,
A gentle, little rat-tat-tat, which showed, to those who knew,
That he was thinking hard and fast and pondering the fate
Of his misguided Adjutant, who dared to voice the state

Of under paid Staff Officers who worked twelve hours a day
And only drew for all their toil a mite of extra pay
And who, because their Union ruled, were threatening now to stage
A sit down strike, to push their claim to get a 'living wage'.

The Q.M. quivered in his shoes, the R.S.M. looked scared,
The C.O.'s brow was black as night, for no one yet had dared
To question his authority, or flout him to his face,
As this young man was doing now, a perfect, black disgrace!

The C.O.'s brow was black as night-then suddenly it cleared,
(The Q.M. stopped his quivering, the R.S.M. looked cheered)
And now he laughed a loud, Ha Ha! and now a soft, He He!
"Your Union's threats are fiddlesticks, and nothing more to me."

"For I, when young and innocent, and keen to forge ahead,
Did study hard and scorn delights and rarely went to bed
Before the midnight oil was spent, and so, my lad, you see
I now can boast behind my name a magic p.s.c."

"And p.s.c., as you must know, for you are not a fool,
Is now an open sesame to quite the strongest rule
Of any body politic, so, therefore, Q.E.D.,
If any cash is lying spare it's not for you, but me."


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