Cyprus late 1950"s
Lucy held that living was
A grand old thing to do
And lived it up each Friday night
Till nigh on half past two.
There was no drink she had not drunk;
No sin she had not tasted;
No make of car she had not smashed;
No soft drink but she laced it.
Now ministers of every faith
Had pledged themselves to save her
"Redeem!" they said. "The wickedest,
transform their bad behaviour."
"Make blackest black a sparkling white
For all the world to see
And little sinners will take heart
Since none's as bad as she!"
They pestered her to give up liquor
"Do quench your thirst," they said,
"With sparkling water from the tap."
But Lucy shook her head.
"And men are dangerous," they said,
"For such a girl as you.
Get yourself one good boy friend
And do not dally with two."
"Don't race about in fast sports cars
With men as fast beside.
The paths of sin are primrose-lined
And comfortably wide."
"Come wash off all your sins," they urged.
"From black, be white instead."
She poured a glass of cool, straight gin
And "Bottoms up!" she said.
For three years more did Lucy live
A life of deep delight
Until the Good Lord showed his hand
And changed our Lucy's plight.
The cry went up from all the Press
That girls should volunteer
To serve in Cyprus with the N.A.A.F.I. -
The call of duty clear.
Now Lucy had a painful head,
She'd mixed her drinks that day.
"Hell, this place stinks!" she cried aloud,
"I'd like to get away!"
That very morning she signed up
To be a N.A.A.F.I. girl
And found herself in Cyprus camps
Behind a counter till.
And here's the moral of the tale
I've struggled to re-tell.
Scarce two weeks had Lucy worked
Till she was changed as well.
For where the ministers had failed,
With all their talk of Heaven,
The National Servicemen achieved
By examples of clean living.