The Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders (Princess Louise's)

'Sans Peur'       Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders red and white dicing       'Ne Obliviscaris'

The Private's Appeal ©

by H Marshall

Although the situation in Iraq is treacherous and our gallant men are continually in mortal danger, there is always a place for a light hearted slant on proceedings. It helps to lift the spirits.

Dear macho sergeant major
don't send me to Baghdad
my mummy wouldn't like it
and neither would my dad

My auntie says I'm fragile
so take good care of me
and bring me in the morning
a nice hot cup of tea

I cannot stand the banging
from all these noisy guns
And I've heard the food in Basrah
gave all the Jocks the runs

I'm really much too squeamish
to look at blood and gore
and all these beastly sand grains
will clog my every pore

The sun gives me a headache
I soon begin to wilt
my knees swell up with blisters
and look awful in the kilt

The other men are stronger
more muscular than I
I'd rather stay in Stirling
or Alloa or Skye

And please don't use bad language
when calling out my name
you know it hurts my feelings
and fills me full of shame

I wonder if the Black Watch
would cater for my style
and after all, their tartan
is the same as the Argyll

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