The Argyll and Sutherland Highlanders (Princess Louise's)

The Private's Appeal © by H Marshall Scotland 2004 Although the situation in Iraq is treacherous and our gallant men are continually in mortal danger, there is always a place for a light hearted slant on proceedings. It helps to lift the spirits. Dear macho sergeant major don't send me to Baghdad my mummy wouldn't like it and neither would my dad My auntie says I'm fragile so take good care of me and bring me in the morning a nice hot cup of tea I cannot stand the banging from all these noisy guns And I've heard the food in Basrah gave all the Jocks the runs I'm really much too squeamish to look at blood and gore and all these beastly sand grains will clog my every pore The sun gives me a headache I soon begin to wilt my knees swell up with blisters and look awful in the kilt The other men are stronger more muscular than I I'd rather stay in Stirling or Alloa or Skye And please don't use bad language when calling out my name you know it hurts my feelings and fills me full of shame I wonder if the Black Watch would cater for my style and after all, their tartan is the same as the Argyll