TWO HEIDS ARE BETTER THAN ONE
by Malice in Blunderland
Said the Adjutant to the Quartermaster,
"We'll have to sort it out!
Sit down and have a conference -
See what it's all about."
"Rations - Transport - Compo;
Preservatives for Guns;
Rules on Local Purchase;
Snares for tenor drums."
"The informing of Q Movements
that we shan't require a plane.
But get it over clearly -
We'll NEED a buffet on the train."
"The Minutes of the last 'Conf'
must also be discussed;
Recreation runs for Jocks at Camp
and where they'll be debussed."
"Where to, dump the ammunition;
Is there a football field for play?
Is the Imprest ripe for audit?
Does the silver bugle ever play?"
"WRAC Huts must be curtained,
Female soldiers for to hide!
How many of the RPs
on Motor Cycles Ride?"
"Shall we start a little cadre
For CQMSs with their books?
Can we feed ourselves at Warcop
with insufficient Cooks?"
"Are the coaches booked for Coys?
Will they all arrive in time?
Are we all 'clued up' on messing?
Or will it be a pantomime?"
"Do we load the train compartments
with kit bags twenty deep?
Will we get a snack at Carlisle or
will be all be fast asleep."
"Will the billets all be comfy?
Is there a carpet for the Mess?
We'll re-write the drill for guard mount
and the Orderly Corporal's dress."
"Is there an ambulance for the Doctor
And does he have a Sick Parade?
We can't resist the next line -
Is the silver bugle ever played?"
"Has the Training Major 'sparked' yet
and produced his 'bumph' on schemes?
The I.O. must print notices
on locations of latrines."
"Are the Wireless Sets all working?
Do our Hydro Burners leak?
Has the DCA been notified,
Jocks don't like bubble and squeak?"
"Have the Civvy Staff consented
to accompany us to Camp?
Does our Cold, Wet Weather Clothing
hold the right amount of damp?"
"If we get the conference finished
by the setting of the sun,
We could check the G10 watches,
or bake a Chelsea Bun."